Caffeine Overdose

The next installment of What You Don’t Know is on its way, but I thought in the mean time you all would appreciate a dose of Alisha. And not just any old dose of Alisha, a dose of sleep-deprived, running on fumes and cookie crumbs, slightly irritable Alisha. Enjoy the caffeine-driven rant!

Before beginning my glorious career as a missionary/pseudo-parent, I was really not aware of how much I adored sleep. I mean, yes, I enjoyed those days when I didn’t have to get out of bed, and me and the cat could spend some quality time together. And I will be the first to admit that I don’t wake up well, and I have been known to occasionally hit people who have the temerity to wake me up. Hard. No one has ever called me a morning person in a non-sarcastic way, and while I have friends who embrace the dawn, their encouragement for me to do the same is generally not well received. That being said, I was in no way prepared for sleep and I to take (what feels like) a permanent parting of ways.

You see, when you have 11 children, it’s hard to sleep the whole night through. Someone always has a nightmare, or falls out of bed (Ingrid). Occasionally, beds get wet, and its occupant wakes up damp and cranky. Sometimes, the little girls get sick, and let me tell you-nothing gets you out of bed quicker than the sound of vomit hitting the floor. If you’re lucky, these events will occur early, and all of the midgets will be asleep for good by 10 pm or so. But the only thing you can really count on is that 5 am comes too soon, every morning.

I love those girls, but I really miss sleeping.

Sleep, this is a love letter to you. I want you to know: I’m sorry for all of the times I stayed up until 3 am. I’m sorry I didn’t love you the way you should be loved. I regret the way I took you for granted, thinking that you would always be there for me. I was wrong, and I can admit that. Sleep, I need you. I want you back. I’m not too proud to beg. Won’t you come back you me, sleep?

Be jealous of the dino mug. I know it's awesome.

This blog was brought to you by large amounts of caffeine and cookies.